Tackling Ageism: 25 Going On 50
Each year as my birthday approaches, a familiar feeling of dread creeps over me at the prospect of being one year older. Although I am now only twenty-five, this perennial sense of there being an hourglass over my head has afflicted me since I was roughly thirteen. Through my continual and inescapable exposure to subliminal ageist sentiments in popular media—which are aimed at women in particular—I have been taught from a young age that, as a woman, my time is somehow always running out.
With hypercritical, image-obsessed news outlets, like the Daily Mail, directing articles at women on how to ‘look younger’[1] and powerful, celebrity-manufacturing industries promoting mass consumption of the newest (and youngest) faces, like Billie Eilish and Kaia Gerber, it is no wonder that, at the age of thirteen, I sensed that it would not be too long before I would reach my peak of ‘attractiveness’—and hence my credibility as a woman—in popular perception.
While I may have been acutely young, at just thirteen, in perceiving these external and gendered pressures of ageism, I know that I am not alone in my story. The majority of women sense this burden at a relatively early point in their lives, where unavoidable messages of age-related, female worthlessness are implicitly reinforced by our environments. Whether it be a ‘youth serum’ advertisement on the tube or an article reassuring the reader that it is ‘natural’[2] for our male partners to notice younger women, daily messages inundate us from an early age, stressing that only a few years remain before our light will begin to fade—‘Do you remember so and so?’ the clickbait articles tease, shaming a forgotten celebrity, ‘You won’t believe what she looks like now!’
But what is this light that I am referring to? And why would the threat of its loss be so concerning to women? My answer is that this light resembles our power as women, a credibility in how we are seen—and how we see ourselves—which is constantly being corroded by the unattainable and manufactured ideals of an ever-changing ‘beauty myth.’[3] As relentless industries reinforce a daily mantra according to which our ultimate value as women is conditional upon our perceived attractiveness to men, an hourglass of self-worth is forced upon the female experience as soon as we become self-aware.
In particular, the appearance of ‘youth’—the specifics of which are undefinable and always subject to change—becomes a determining factor in assessing our worth, and even our identities as ‘female.’ This can be observed, for example, in the recent co-opting by Hollywood of feminist narratives. In this industry, which arguably conflates the objectification of women with our empowerment, the fifty-year-old actress, Jennifer Lopez, is lauded for her ‘youthful’ appearance—‘She’s still got it,’[4] we are told, her attractiveness (and ultimately her power as a woman) being assessed relative to her age. Such rhetoric strengthens the following damaging impression: that, at fifty, her age is held over her head, as a haunting reminder that she has lost something, and that she will continue to lose something. Thus, for Jennifer, and other women of her age, the sand is running out.
As we age, we are reminded that our chances of ‘looking older’[5] increase, and that, as women, we must be particularly proactive in taking steps to slow the inevitable, lest we lose male attention—an indication of our value. We must be cautious that our breasts may begin to sag,[6] that lines may appear on our faces—all signs of the loss of youth. Likewise, we are accustomed to the myth being repeated to us by our older counterparts, many of whom lament not taking such precautions earlier and reminisce about previously being able to wear that outfit, without their bodies betraying them.[7] As such, in popular perception, a woman’s birthday past the age of eighteen symbolises a depletion in our worth, a fear of being replaced by a younger woman, of being forgotten by the metaphorical man, of losing our power.
It is important to note, however, that the ostensibly heteronormative and hypersexual ‘male’ standpoint of the beauty myth is not the subjective viewpoint of the archetypal heterosexual man. Rather, the myth feasts itself upon an unattainable and self-sustaining standard of an artificial man. This hyperbolic figure possesses a continually roaming eye and is purely guided by a remorseless obsession with image, sexual gratification, and endless comparisons between women. We may be a pioneering female scientist, a mother to three children, or pride ourselves as a reliable friend—none of these achievements matter in the ever-condescending eye of the beauty myth. We will never be enough.
Even if I were to succumb to the changeable pressures of the myth, by endeavouring to look slimmer, curvier, younger, taller, shorter, and so on, I will always be discarded. I will inevitably be deemed to be too slim, too curvy, too old, too short, too tall, ad infinitum, losing myself as I repeatedly change myself. The day after my eighteenth birthday, I will be too old according to the myth, easily replaced by my ideal, exactly-eighteen-year-old ‘more attractive’ and thus more powerful sister—a sister I never get to see. The myth is always hungry; it is never sated.
Like the White Rabbit in Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, the impact of this pressure on women is to make us feel like we are constantly hurrying to salvage our value—‘I shall be too late!’[8] we are in fact repeating whenever we fear that our breasts have lost their elasticity or we settle for a person who falls below our expectations because we are ‘past our prime.’[9] The cruel irony of the myth, however, is that as soon as we reach adulthood, the clock starts to tick. Thus, as my power inevitably increases through wisdom, life experience, self-discovery—all of which take time—the myth devalues me as a woman. As such, in the myth’s estimation, at twenty-five, I might as well be fifty—my power has dwindled.
By so oppressing womanhood and portraying men as fickle minds commanded only by an easily manufactured, primal, and disloyal sexual urge, the beauty myth wrongs both women and men. It estranges us from one another, fostering a mutual distrust. The myth itself, forever unaccountable, whispers in our ears that our partners are always prepared to replace us with a younger, ‘more attractive’ woman—whatever this means. Just as ‘youth’ serves to define the ideal of femininity according to the myth, just so the acquisition of a younger woman becomes the mark of a masculine man. As such, the myth acts with brazen impunity, legitimating a scenario in which an older man may happily seduce an adult woman who is young enough to be his daughter, not out of love for her, but because of what she reflects in him, like a mirror—a hyper-masculine version of himself.
Ultimately, what exactly do we gain with age that the beauty myth attempts to hide from us? It is my belief that women acquire a beauty in ourselves which surpasses any artificial confinements in popular perception. It is a beauty of personal growth, self-expression, and learning—a development that depends on age. As such, a myth which attempts to restrict female growth—as the very mark of an ideal woman—is an attack on womanhood itself. Thus, having turned twenty-five, I look forward to embracing my future growth as a woman—in fact, I cannot wait until I am fifty (and older).
Article tags: | -ism | ageism | beauty myth | feminism |
Like the White Rabbit in Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, the impact of the pressures of the beauty myth on women is to make us feel like we are constantly hurrying to salvage our value—‘I shall be too late!’ Image source: public domain
A magazine cover depicting the young singer, Billie Eilish. Image source: D la Repubblica Magazine
The fifty-year-old actress, Jennifer Lopez, is lauded for her ‘youthful’ appearance—‘She’s still got it,’ we are told. Image source: HOLA!
Having turned twenty-five, I look forward to embracing my future growth as a woman—in fact, I cannot wait until I am fifty (and older). Image source: KITCHEN Boston Mass
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Sources Cited
[1] Alice Hart-Davis and Simon Mills, ‘How you can look younger, by the beauty expert who’s tried every treatment - and knows what really works’ (MailOnline, 11 March 2019) <https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6793395/How-look-younger-beauty-expert-whos-tried-treatment.html> accessed 29 February 2020.
[2] Rebecca Stoner, ‘Are men really hard-wired to desire younger women?’ (THEOUTLINE, 29 August 2018) <https://theoutline.com/post/6061/older-men-younger-women-evolution-or-bullshit?zd=1&zi=psan5wm6> accessed 28 February 2020.
[3] Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women (Vintage 1991).
[4] ‘She’s still got it! Jennifer Lopez, 48, shows off her incredible abs as she dances the night away on the NYC subway for Amor Amor Amor Video’ (MailOnline, 10 November 2017) <https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5071119/Jennifer-Lopez-New-York-subway-Amor-Amor-Amor.html> accessed 29 February 2020.
[5] Marion McGilvary, ‘Why do women age so fast in their fifties? FEMAIL investigates why gender age cap problems increase the older you get’ (MailOnline, 21 March 2016) <https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3501776/Why-women-age-fast-fifties-FEMAIL-investigates-gender-age-gap-problems-increases-older-get.html> accessed 28 February 2020.
[6] ‘Treating saggy breasts’ (healthline) <https://www.healthline.com/health/saggy-breasts#causes> accessed 28 February 2020.
[7] Emma Nolan, ‘Loose Women’s Saira Khan shows off very relatable jeans predicament‘(prima, 13 February 2020) <https://www.prima.co.uk/leisure/celebrity/a30908854/saira-khan-jeans-instagram/> accessed 27 February 2020.
[8] Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (first published 1865, VolumeOne Publishing 1998) 2.
[9] Julia McCurley, ‘Expired or Desired: Do Single Women Have a Best Used By Date?’ (HUFFPOST, 23 August 2017) <https://www.huffingtonpost.com/julia-mccurley/expired-or-desired-do-sin_b_11628234.html> accessed 30 October 2017.